A week or so ago I decided to sit down with the boys and see what they thought about, perhaps, their mother dating. I wanted to have the conversation and get their thoughts prior to doing anything about it. It's not that I was 100% ready at the time, and I'm not sure I'm 100% ready now- but then is anyone ever 100% ready? When I met Steve I would say I was about 85% ready and we ended up talking marriage on the second date.
When I spoke with the boys I just asked simply, "What are your thoughts about me going on a date?"
I wish I could clearly convey the looks on their faces. Parker looked very thoughtful. Klarke looked calm and Grant....well he looked ticked off.
Parker spoke first and said, "If it will make you happy Mom, then I think you should do it. I support you." This warmed my heart.
Klarke chimed in, "Yep! We could have someone to watch football games with again." This made me feel two things: sadness for the boy who is missing his dad so much, and nervous that he would expect that right away from any sort of dating situation.
Grant simply said, "No way! You can't. I don't want anyone but Dad in our house." This was expected. Steve was his best friend.
I just let them all know that nothing was in the works. My first priority is to my boys- always. They come first. This doesn't mean that I won't go, should the opportunity arise, but it does mean that I will be very, very careful about who meets the boys and when.
I guess what I'm saying with all of this is that the thought of moving forward is appealing to me. I've stagnated for too long. My heart aches and the desire to find a friend is there. Anything more than that right now seems to overwhelming, but I would like a friend to at least laugh with. No pressure.
That's where we are tonight. Much love, Kami
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Some male friendship would probably be comforting. Kim and I were talking not too long ago and she was telling me that the hardest part about being a single mom sometimes is just being alone and not having someone to really talk to about your day (girlfriends aren't the same). And you seem like you want to take it slow (for your own sake and the boys') so I'm sure you will be ready for at least that when the right situation presents itself. Love you, Kami!
ReplyDeleteKami - I love you so much! I am so proud of you for having this conversation that you knew would be difficult. You are such an amazing momma and woman! I just know that someday, when you are ready, you will find someone who will appreciate your humor and amazingness as much as all of us who are following your journey! You deserve all of the happiness in the world! P.S. Your boys are SO amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteAs they say, " Laughter is the best medicine", better get the teaspoon ready! xxx
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